The Dairy Queen is Closed!

Today marks the last day I am officially breastfeeding. I actually have been pretending to breastfeed for a while now, but today I realized that the charade is over and that the Bean and I are done.

So the background......breastfeeding Mo wasn't a cakewalk in the beginning, but with the help of a Lactation Consultant, we finally got the hang of it. Mo was a nursing champion. She just took to it, and we could do it anywhere, and in any position. It was easy, and also I knew it was best for her.

I went back to work when she was 6 months old and I wasn't able to pump very much. I also didn't have a frozen milk stash, so she would nurse in the morning and night, and she got formula during the day. I was fine with this arrangement. I felt like formula is fine to give babies, so that wasn't an issue. This worked very well, and eventually one day, we dropped the morning nursing session, and then right after her first birthday, she was the one who just kind of stopped all together. It wasn't a big deal. I was proud that we made it that far.

Just to interject, I am not one of those women who totally enjoyed my breastfeeding experience. I didn't mind it, it was mildly enjoyable for a bit, but overall, I didn't feel any closer to Mo just because I nursed her. In fact, towards the end....I resented the fact that I HAD to breastfeed her, and I was just as ready to stop as she was.

Fast forward 5 years, and the Bean is born......she was a great nurser right away (much better than Mo)...but then, the jaundice happened! Jaundice made her very sleepy, lethargic, and she wouldn't nurse....she just didn't have the energy. So, we started her on a bottle right away. I was pumping, but she drank all of her milk for the first 10 days from a bottle. We tried to nurse, but she wasn't really into it, but we kept at it, and finally, she started taking the breast...yah-success!!! But, she has always preferred the bottle....it is just easier to drink out of.

The other problem.....she also developed a bad latch...so when she would nurse...it wasn't very productive...she would get some milk, but not enough....not enough to keep her healthy and not enough to help me make more milk....the only reason I am still making any milk at all, is that I have never stopped pumping....and pumping isn't nearly as good as nursing....and on top of that....pumping sucks....I hate it! So my supply has just slowly gone down, down, down.....I have been able to build a good freezer stash, but the Bean has gotten more formula than breastmilk for a while now.

So, we have been nursing in the morning and sometimes at night....and I felt like the morning nursing session was our best one. But over the past month, she has been super hungry after our morning nurse, and she ends up eating a full bottle shortly thereafter. That was clue #1 that she wasn't really getting any milk in the morning.

Clue #2....I am still a pumping fool, but my output is going WAY down.....I am getting anywhere from 2-4 ounces per day which is nothing, but felt like I would keep at it, to keep my supply up and to add to the freezer stash...so she would get at least one breastmilk bottle during the day.

The past 2 mornings I haven't been able to nurse her in the morning, so I pumped instead......I got 1 lousy ounce. I had thought that she was getting a whole lot more....like 4-5 ounces during that session. But today when I pumped that little bity ounce.....I realized that she is just using me as a big pacifier, and not really eating anything in the morning. This was clue #3.....and the final one.

All the pumping I am doing is not worth it for the grand total of 4 ounces I am getting per day! I am just giving in....I will still offer her the breast, but more for comfort.....not for nutrition. We will give her what breastmilk we have in the freezer, and the rest...all formula.

I have mixed emotions....on one hand, formula is not bad....it is a fine way to feed your baby....but I do know that breastmilk is better for baby, and I had hoped she would get at least a year (just like her sister) of some breastmilk.....but that is not what is happening, and that will have to be fine.....the important thing is that she is growing and is healthy!

This is one long post.....much more rambling than I thought it was going to be!!!!

She's Crafty Like That!!!!

So, I try to be organized, I really do, but still there is still an amazing amount of paperwork that we have to keep track of.....and it is not just us. Mo has papers for school, permission slips, book orders, fundraisers, etc.......it is really too much.

We already had a family calendar that we used for meal planning that hung on our back door. Now the back door looks like this!!!!


We each get our own in box to corral the things that we need.



I made them out of clear wall mounted boxes. To make them pretty, I mod podged paper on them. I looked over the internet to makes sure I could do it on the clear plastic...turns out it looks ugly while you are doing it, but it dries just fine. I mounted them to the door using command sticky strips.

I have 2 issues with the final product.....first, they are spaced apart all funky. I didn't take into consideration the lock and door knob.

The other thing I didn't realize until the next day was, I can't open the drawer right next to it....the boxes stick out to far, and the drawer won't open. I have to open the door, then open the drawer. It isn't that big of a deal, since that drawer is hardly ever opened, but still......poor planning on my part!

Other than that, I am pretty happy with how everything turned out.

Portland's Got Talent

Mo has got on this singing kick lately. Since she was born, Scout has made up words to songs to entertain the both of us.....now Mo has taken it to the next level. She sings all the time.....as in, she has created her own little soundtrack to her life......she walks around and sings about what she is doing....."I'm brushing my teeth, yeah, yeah....

These 2 videos may be long, but oh so worth it.......we have been trying to get it on video for a while....here it is in all it's musical glory!!!!

Sometimes, she needs a bit of inspiration.....to get started.





For this one, I am secretly taping, the shaking in the middle, is me laughing. I couldn't help it.

Christmas, 2011

So, our Christmas was a bit low-key this year. We didn't have any out-of-town visitors, it was just the 4 of us this year. We were able to do some fun stuff, but really we kept it close to home. It was a very nice holiday.

Scout and I didn't do any presents for each other this year. We really couldn't think of anything we wanted. When we look at our 2 beautiful daughters, we know we have everything we could ever want. I think this holiday, we both felt so grateful for the good blessings that have come our way. Giving birth to the Bean this year after such a long time of trying to have a second baby, we know how lucky we are......our little family is complete. And also knowing that she healthy, and happy..........what more could we want?

How cute are these elves?





Every year, we make cookies on Christmas Eve...this year, we made the best ones yet....perfect cookie dough...not too sticky, rolled out easily. The icing was just stiff enough to stay on the cookies....and they tasted REALLY good......Santa really enjoyed them.

On Christmas morning, this is what the girls woke up to...not a bad haul.....


Mo got her Barbie Town House, which she has been asking for and wanting FOREVER.....

She also got a few other goodies, which made her heart sing...the only thing that her Mommies aren't too excited with is the Love's Baby Soft perfume which was in her sticking....we really should think these things out before we get them for her. Mo doesn't understand how much is "enough" when it comes to perfume. She believes "more is better."


Of course, Mo had to show the Bean how Christmas is done......notice the look of concentration of the babies face....she is really learning!



Santa was also good to the baby, she loves this little snail thing with a mirror on it.


All in all, a very nice holiday.